Sweet Dream

hey all ! i guess it’s been a while since the last post. well, not always you over come your true self which unfortunately, in my case is conspicuous lethargy 

Now it’s 4 in the morning so i am not going to use any  hocus pocus  to decorate the page.  This is just about a dream i had few days back….2-3 days i think and it goes something like this :

i was sleeping(obviously) with my mind stuffed with all the hip happening things going on in the world and i saw nothing of them….i saw my mom in my dream. now i talk to my mom twice a day….alright thrice a day and this is why i never think of her while i go to sleep yet she was there as real as possible. i saw her and i saw myself. i saw her sleeping in agra at my home and i saw me sleeping in kanpur inside my room and then i tried to communicate. i started to talk to her in my sleep (the sleep in the dream) and i said(or whispered) something like “see mom, i can communicate with you personally through my dream”. it was all in hindi of course and i kept on seeing this for a few moments. i talked about few things as i normally do and i dont remember whether maa replied to me…may be she did may be she didn’t but it was all very real yet surreal. it was like a camera switching from one sleeping face to another…faces with serene composure, even mine too

then in the end i calmly said,”you see ! we’re talking in our sleep and it’s a beautiful way to connect. we are 300 km apart yet i am so close to you. i am free in my dreams to see you and it’s amazing…..and when we wake up, i’ll wake up in kanpur and you’ll wake up in agra and sadly this connection will be gone” and then i slowly opened my eyes(for  real). it was morning, unusually early for me. I remained still as i was for like a minute and kept thinking about it.

Now It might fail to captivate you but it was a wonderful and a lovely experience. it felt so real and warm, also a bit weird…almost like meeting maa in person. then i sat up and looked at my cell phone to know the time and it showed a missed call from Home. I tell you i go mad when i receive any early call from home so i called back to yell at some.

“itni subah phone kyon kiya ??!!”, said i in a grotesque tone. it was mom speaking from the other end and she said in the sweet baby talk she uses for me,”beta ko sapne mein dekha subah subah, to yaad aa rahi thi. isliye phone kiya tha”.

“hmmm…ok, now i am going to the loo”, and i just said that much. didn’t tell her about the dream otherwise she would have made a mom-child connection speech over a mere coincidence(?) .

that’s it guys, that’s the only sweet little freaky experience i had recently, will tell you if there’s more….just don’t call a psychiatrist on me 

तसव्वुर

तेरे जलवों पे निकली आह को परवाज़ देता हूँ ,
खुदा की हसीन इनायत पर ग़ज़ल इक शोख कहता हूँ |

कि तेरी जुल्फ के साये को हर सावन तरसता है ,
तेरी नज़रों में ऐ बेदर्द कोई मयखाना बसता है |

तेरे होंठों की रंगत में हैं सजते नाज़ फूलों के ,
जो तू  हँस दे बहारों का नया अंदाज़ लगता है |

तेरे पैरों के सजदे में बिछे हैं दिल दीवानों के ,
तेरी मेंहदी की लाली को जिगर खूने कसकता है |

चाल पर रश्क हैं करतीं सागर की ठगी लहरें ,
जो तू सँवरे आईने को गुमान कुछ ख़ास होता है |

तेरी बाली कि जैसे फलक में चाँद ले झोंके ,
तेरी बिंदिया के झिलमिल में कोई तारा झलकता है |

तेरी पायल कि छन छन पर रसीले राग हैं फीके ,
तेरे गजरे की खुशबू से हर मधुवन महकता है |

जो तू न हो तो दिल जैसे कि नगमा हो कोई ग़मगीन ,
जो तू आये तो धड़कन को नया इक साज़ मिलता है |

जो तू गुमसुम थमे ये वक़्त ये मंज़र थमे अहसास ये सारा,
जो तू बोले अज़ानों का नया एक दौर चलता है |

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hey all,
here i am with my first few romantic lines. i hope you like it….and if you do, plz comment…and if you do not, well then pretend so
some words I’d like to explain here for a better understanding :

(1) तसव्वुर – Contemplation, Imagination. (2) परवाज़ – flight. (3) इनायत – Blessing, Favor.  (4)  शोख – Attractive, Bold. (5) मयखाना – bar, pub. (6) नाज़ – Elegance, Pride. (7) रश्क – Envy. (8) फलक – Sky. (9) अज़ान – Call For Prayer (pious).

मेघदूत

मन अकुलाता हुआ अचल,
तपता सूरज नभ में अटल,
कर बूँदों से श्वासें फलीभूत,
बरसो रे बरसो मेघदूत |

बरसो कि धरा में प्यास उठी,
बरसो कि मिलन की आस उठी,
दो फसलों की संतान उसे,
जो ध्येय पे हो अभिमान उसे |

बरसो कि व्याकुल है जीवन,
बहे अनल धार में खर पतवन,
दो शीतलता का प्रमाण विकट,
हो जगत का अब कल्याण निकट |

बरसो की आँखें तरसी हैं,
तुम ना बरसे ये बरसी हैं,
बरसो कि रोता है किसान,
बरसो कि श्रवण हैं वीरान |

बरसो कि बचपन हुआ शिथिल,
बरसो कि अधीरज हुआ अखिल,
जो ना बरसे है अंत यही,
बरसो कि व्यथा ना जाए सही |

जो बरसे पक्षी गाएँगे,
भँवरे फूलों पे छाएँगे,
धरती ओढेगी वस्त्र हरे,
कंठों को गीतों से भरे,

प्रेमलीन होंगे युगल,
सरिता गाएँगी कल-कल,
होगा ऋणी जग होगा अभिभूत
बरसो रे बरसो मेघदूत |

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two words: Hi friends, here i am with my new poem “Meghdoot”. i hope you liked it  . As we all know that monsoon is still not there and we all are eagerly waiting when it’s going to rain, especially in north India where conditions have gone severe. these all things  inspired me to pray to god in form of a poem.  see you soon with some new lines…good day  

p.s. : By Meghdoot, i have meant “rain drops falling from clouds” as they are like messenger of clouds coming to us when it rains.

and it said coo cooo…

As I dislike to wait
I measure my weight
as always it’s late
feeling stood up on a date
like a beacon in despair
fate decides to spare
it arrives all big and black
and it says coo cooo,

Weather is down
everybody looking clown
I enter my chair
someone already is there
I swallow my drool
lest I lose my cool
it’s hot shabby inside
and it says coo cooo,

Like a cupid’s knock
she takes to me a walk
my heart goes the clock
as she starts to talk
could you share your berth?
sudden heaven on earth
so it switches to green
and it says coo cooo,

when happens to smile
she devours every mile
now I pray for a pause
for the worthiest cause
but it denies the favor
shows no mercy to savor
it reaches my stop
and it said coo cooo.

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Inspiration: i was going to attend my sister’s engagement  in last june when i happened to have this little experience with which i inked my paper during the journey. it’s written in a single shot and i have tried to keep it playful…thanks for reading 

Screw the old…

Two posts in two days, man I am on fire. I think now i can tell you the most touching story in the history of man kind. This story comes out of the part of my college life when I used to attend classes sometimes, that’d be second year i.e. 2005. I’ll be a bit hasty in this post as I am feeling a little exhausted and sleepy after the treat thrown by my dear friend and wing mate A N Singh who had his m tech thesis defense today, way to go buddy.

So about my story, as I was saying it belongs to the days of classes and lectures. Unfortunately it took me two years to realize that there was no point in taking classes if I didn’t understand squat about what happened on the board.

Well, being a childhood victim of punctuality, I happened to be a bit early in the morning class where few geeks and the unwanted old guy in the family i.e. the instructor himself were already present. The Instructor was checking his notes and attendance sheet to mark his prey to satisfy his sadistic needs and the students…well the girls were busy in arranging their notepads before the lecture and the manly men were waiting for girls to drop their pen or something which would make them lean forward and reveal a small feed for their sexual appetite.  This is why when someone says “boys will be boys”, I say “hell yeah!!!” Anyways, I was sitting in my favorite spot….the third row from the front. You see in our lecture hall configuration, it is kind of an untold deal that the girls shall always sit in the front row, and all of them together like a human chain fighting for gay rights. And I am with them…I say go girls and don’t worry about us as we all love lesbians   so this is how the first row gets occupied.

Second row….man I never want them to think of me as a low esteemed ass sicko. I had given it a try it once; I mean I had sat in the second row once and all I received was a gesture that made me say “what??!!”, actually in our institute when you sit behind a girl, somehow she manages to think that the person behind her has got nothing better to do and the only reason he has come to the lecture is to stare at their worthy asses. Suddenly she starts to feel on display and she goes on and on adjusting herself and while she does it, she’d give you this look…this annoying creepy look almost clarifying “I won’t let succeed your master plan to gather a glimpse of my splendid asset”, and it’s the most pathetic look I’ve ever seen and I  don’t understand why they wear something they can’t carry off and then blame us for no apparent reason. That’s why I always prefer the third row; it comes with no controversies and it is in the vicinity of the Prof which proves that I am not afraid of them.

So when I was all comfortable in my seat and started to take a look around, my super observant eyes noticed that our instructor had a flawed packaging for his soldier. For those who are not very good at metaphors, I spotted that the zip of the instructor’s trouser was wide open. It was a hilarious and amazing sight. I showed my ultra resilience and told the adjacent classmate about the sight. One person passed it to another and everyone in my row started to make fun of the old man and I moved by principles and shit, did not feel good about it. I thought that the person was old and one of the best faculty members of our department. It is not good to make fun of him when his old age was causing him a little cerebral damage somewhere in the memory region which made him forget zipping his pants. So I asked my friend whether or not I should inform the man about his free ventilation and he said that it was entirely up to me. I was in a huge dilemma, either I could regret my whole life thinking about what could have happened if I had told him or I could just step up to rescue his dignity…..well, I decided to tell the man in white beard that he had undone zip.

So friends….I breathed deeply, got up and walked to the person who had no clue that a brave boy was going to risk his persona, naiveté and above all, his grades in the course just to do an experiment with truth. I reached his desk and following conversation took place (and I am keeping this intact for the sake of authenticity):

Me (hesitating): sir, I have to tell you something.

Sir (out loud): Yes!! What do you want??

Me (on such a loud response): Sir, I want to say something in private.

Sir (even louder and addressing the whole class this time):  He wants to talk to me in private, (then to me): Yeah, what is it??

(Now the whole class was silent and staring at me, they knew that they were going to have a show)

Me (quietly): Sir, your pants are unzipped.

Sir (at his loudest): OH!!! He is Not a nice guy…..he was looking at my zip,  HA  HA  HA !!!!

Petrified !!!  What a great reward for my courage and for an honest attempt to  save an old man’s pride before the class. He made me look as if I had an irregular orientation. The discussion ended there and I watched everyone laughing at me. The people who had no strength to face the wrath of my sarcasm were smirking at me as their eyes became incapable of hiding their shameless ecstasy. I had nothing to cover myself, the experiment was a failure. “Screw the old” said I in my blemished mind and I silently walked to my seat and remained seated like a corpse till the bell went off.

….as we call it The Winters.

Hey guys, hope this finds you in the best of shit and…..and bullshit. Worry not about the shitty kick off….Since I m still stuck to IITK, I wanted to wish you with something better and meaningful, which I did in case you haven’t been to this place.

Now, I have been through some emotional changes during last week. For those who are shagging in ACs or pissing over snowy mountains, I’d say that it’s hot as fucking hell at iitk….hell being an underestimation here. Yesterday when I dived in the institute swimming pool in the early morning, suddenly “the sun” showed up and my head happened to have a zero viscosity chat with the floor….yeah, the water in the pool evaporated within seconds due to the awesomeness of our great god’s lamp….can you believe it ?? Ya…me neither

Anyways, this isn’t why I am wasting my precious time writing stuff that will make no sense to the people I am friends with as some of them are too reluctant to open a link and some are overly pissed off with my usual humor shit. Also, some of them are helpless to act like connoisseurs of every context and will reject the whole idea disgracefully and some will just play their usual hypocrite bit caused by numerous obscene creatures floating on every feasible possibility.

So when I started to feel like roasted beef, I installed a cooler in my room….trust me I can write an essay entirely dedicated to my cooler but I am not going to do that as I don’t enjoy making fool of myself willingly and then having people laughing out loud at me on my own blog. Now, as we all know the laws of science (and the overestimation beeper goes off)….this cooler like others of its kind, needs ventilation. And this is exactly where comes the misery of the person who likes to walk around naked in his room L( .

Yes, it’s true and I am not ashamed of it. Let me tell you a little story about the invention, It all started when I was even younger and my roomie ganesh had left the room for his home after the endsems of our second year…ohh great old times, aggregate CPI could not cross 10 once

Anyways, I was staying for two more days before leaving to Agra. Ganesh left in the night, I said bye and shit and locked the room from inside.  I turned to my room and suddenly I realized that I was alone in a room for the very first time in my whole goddamn life. A big double room with a computer, bed, pile of dirty clothes and few useless books was luring me into possibilities. I sensed the vibes of expectations…I had heard about it, I had fancied it so I had to try it. And It was when I took off everything I had on and I felt…I felt lighter and sensitive. Skipping details (ahem), I overslept that day and got late for my breakfast….yup, morning is the time when you have no other place to eat at but mess so if you’re hungry, you have to lower your self esteem and become ready to taste something you might regret your whole life. So hastily I dressed up and forgot to put on underpants before my blue jeans. Man it felt good…and cool and free. It was a totally new experience for me and it made me feel different. I wanted to savor the joy so I went…commando. It was all very usual till date…birds twittering, needless night outs, matke*  not flushing toilets etc. and I almost made it three years feeling the same joy before this summer broke every record of insanity.

Now I have to open my windows for the proper ventilation otherwise this exhaust will do nothing but make things worse inside the room, humidity being the nightmare. And since I have my room on the ground floor, I can not take the liberty to offend society in any way thus I am bound to use cut off clothing. This is where underpants come in the picture again after a long time; my innocent will of lighter soul and the non prehistoric human customs negotiated at underpants. I have to wear them if a peep is available to my room. I opened my wardrobe and searched for the fossils, six obsolete acquaintances were found beneath the last layer of my king size velvet quilt. So much convinced me to wash them if I wanted to avoid a malfunction of the region in contact. I asked for it in the wing and no one stepped out to help, so I had to go to the shopC all by myself to buy a nirma super….”dhulaai mein dum, daam phir bhi kam” , I followed what Seetaji had told in a tv commercial 

“Haraamkhor, baudam and kaamchor”, defying all my domestic nicks dipped in maternal tone; I actually washed all the six items in the stinky bathroom (thanks to matke, hall 8 again) and hung them to dry. Soon my room followed the conservation of liquid, I took a bath in my own sweat and those hanging devils became crispier than kfc. I threw my gaze upon them, took out the one with seemingly less negative vibes and put that on. Uuh, what the…ohhk, yes…got it.

Once again I am confined, uncomfortable and sad. It’s like the jinn trapped in the lamp again, don’t get the metaphor wrong….I myself am the jinn here. All the freedom and space have gone with the wind. Now when I walk, the amplitude of my footsteps is a function of elasticity of the cloth next to my skin. When I am on a bike, I keep on adjusting my tush to feel the same comfort but its worthless, When I ride a bicycle, my underpants go up as fast as I paddle with my legs and when I leave it, it takes ages to adjust everything below waist. I am sure you must also have encountered the same feeling of disgust for at least once in your life. If an insect accidently gets inside it, so much strategic effort has to be put in to make it go. I still remember the time when I used to not use it…when the time was simpler, I just used to take a sudden jump and gravitational jerk made the creature follow the path of righteousness.

All those beautiful feelings are mere memories now. This summer has cost me some quality time of my kinky bachelor life. I just hope it ends as quickly as possible and we again step into a world with no boiling sensations, a world full of hope and closed windows. Then my friend, no cooler will be able to destroy a happy life led by low key emotions, no suspicious peep will breach the contemplation of a free mind, no one will be accused of obscenity for restoring intact human nature from the prehistoric times…inside a room of course. And that time we’ll praise the lord and sing jingle bell…..as we call it The Winters.

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*matke => m tech students of our iitk 

अरसा गुज़र गया…

about the poem: Based on my/our life at IIT Kanpur. The poem has four segments about Love, Home, Friends and life respect.

ग़ौर फरमायें :

इश्क़-ए-बांकपन  के, चर्चे हुए बेज़ार,
तालीम के मसले कम्बख़्त ….अरसा गुज़र गया.

कलम गहि नहीं हाथ कभी, दीदों को तरसी किताब
तसव्वुर में अनजाने से …अरसा गुज़र गया.

इक वक़्त था माँ जब आँचल से, रुखसार मेरे सजाती थी,
दाने दाने में घोल प्यार, हाथों से मुझे खिलाती थी,
अब हर लम्हे के तरकश में, हैं तीर नये अंजाने से,
उन लाडपन के नखरों को …अरसा गुज़र गया.

कुफर के ठेकेदारों का, जैसे पूरा दरबार मिला,
दुख दर्दी और प्यार लुटाने, घर से हटके घरबार मिला,
मैं-मैं  नही जो हम  कहें, यारों का वो संसार मिला,
तेरा-मेरा की बात सुने …अरसा गुज़र गया.

पल पल के मायने हैं नये, हर मोड़ है दोराहे  खड़ा,
है मंज़िल क्या है राह किधर, मन में है अब ये प्रश्‍न अड़ा,
मैं हूँ यहाँ मैं हूँ खड़ा, बतलाने को मैं हूँ आतुर,
उन बेफिक्री की रातों को …अरसा गुज़र गया.

To frnds with love

The time I’d thought about long ago has finally arrived. The time when all my friends pass out from here and I am among the few left behind for their m tech.

It’s around four yrs back when we came here as a total stranger to each other leaving behind our families….was a tough time for me undoubtedly. Then i met people who became an integral part of my life. We all coalesced like a family away from home, whether in pain or joy. We shared we stared we abused we fought we danced we sang, everything we did and enjoyed together. But now it’s not going to perpetuate any further. It’s sad but nothing in this world is ever going to get us all together again like we used to be. Of course we talk about things like friendship forever and stuff like that but we know, once we lose contact and get into this real world crap no one’s gonna get any time for anyone else. But the thing is inevitable and we are bound to face it anyway. And I know, without you guys here, this one (hopefully) year of m. tech is going to suck like nothing has sucked before.

The thing is that we’ve become so habitual of each other that it’s going to be very difficult to move on. I just remember everything so neatly, every moment I spent my frnds my wingmates, all those GPL sessions with me showing off that I was against it yet I always intended to add fuel to the fire , my neighbor pawan lisping and eating up all my stuff, hardik shouting as hell, rohitesh speaking his ass off…both ways, chandu saying things that wud make you beat him instantly and we did it quite often , abhishek asking for everything besides underpants, a n singh solving all kinds of dabba probs while using foul words for the softwares, bansi singing so loudly and asking others to keep it low, shubG with agra rocks, rahul beating up chandu everytime, dear mkt filled with all Kanpuriya stuff and roomie ganesh making it difficult for me not to chuckle whenever he stammered big time and many such other events.

It was the wing that made all this so easy, made a place full of professionalism worth living and having fun. Not just the wing, the unforgettable berks of B top hall 1. I’ll surely miss the god of debate chuttal, scratching Raymond, disgusting sadkoo, untidy takla/nishant, dining table nightmares uncle and chachi, chugiyaap machata hua apna dislocated chuggi and the most active person on the planet daaku aka hemant whose HDs by the way changed our movie experience.

And the last but not the least my dear dance club guys, you  know how much I love you and how much I m gonna miss you all, especially the group I always preferred to dance with. I still feel nostalgic about the deadly funny sessions with avichal and varun, still remember the incident of me taking the biscuit packet away from avichal with performing dance steps all the way and avichal following me in the same way, I got unbalanced and fell with the biscuits all over the floor  )….. with so much more this time it’s going to be even tougher. Probably no dance after you guys as I always said “no frnds, no dance” I hope you’d always remember my professional and stodgy attitude during practice hours , especially those two second rounds in Antaragni with all our thinking drives put in……All those moments will become nothing but mere reminiscences.

Nothing more and special I want to mention, coz you’re gonna feel the same way I guess. I’d just say that always remember…..time never ever comes back and there’s nothing that can’t be settled so don’t spoil the precious moments of life because of some petty hassle, just keep smiling….i guess that’s one thing you cud learn from me 

take care